Discouragement and Creativity

Lately I've been doubting my writing ability.  I've been sitting at my keyboard, trying to coax some brilliant words to miraculously form themselves into magnificent prose, something that will make people go, "Wow, you're really talented."  I'm one of those people who is always reaching for that unattainable goal of perfection - and worse, I try to achieve it on my first or second try.  More then once I've found myself looking at the first draft of something I've written and wondering why it's so pathetic compared to the works of my famous authors.
Combined with the fact that there are 7 billion people in the world, probably about a billion of them writing similar things I am, and only about 100 of them are actually successful authors, impacting the world and people's lives with their near-perfect words, I've been pretty discouraged.
I've also been pretty ridiculous.
First, you should never compare your writing (or other creative outlet) to someone else's, and especially not a professional's.  Creativity is not a competition; there are no winners, there are no losers.  Everyone is traveling down this infinite line of good ideas and bad ideas, finished ideas and unfinished ideas.  Some people are farther down this line, some people are more successful on this line, but because this line is infinite it doesn't really matter.
As a writer, I create because I enjoy it, it helps me understand and recreate myself, and I have things I want to say.  I want more than anything to have my words impact someone profoundly, but maybe that should be viewed more as a wonderful side effect than the main point.  As long as my writing impacts me profoundly, its mission is accomplished.
So, for all you writers out there, for all you artists of all forms, every single person on this earth, take pride in what you create.  The world may never see it, but as long as the act of creating helped you, impacted you, then it's worth just as much as a truly great work of art.
God has given us the ability and desire to create, and that is a truly marvelous gift.
Stuff like fame is merely the side effect.
And remember, God has a plan for your creativity.  Don't be discouraged, don't shove your thoughts into the dusty attic of your mind because you think they're not good enough.  Pour them out, to help yourself, and who knows what side effects might follow.

^(OvO)^                

Extroverts, Introverts

Sometimes I feel like I'm split.  I'm neither an introvert or extrovert, but somewhere in between.  When I'm with people I'm comfortable with and know, I'm a complete extrovert and am completely comfortable with myself and other people (friends and strangers).  However, when I'm on my own in some new social situation, I'm totally shy, and I just want to curl up in the corner with a sign that says, "I DON'T EXIST."
It's because of this I feel like I have a general idea of what both an introvert and an extrovert feel.
I have absolutely no qualification to say what I'm about to say, this is pure observation/personal experience.  Feel free to chuck anything that isn't applicable to you out the window, because after all, this is me, and you are you.  But, for what it's worth...

Extroverts,
when you're in the that "zone," where you're in a social situation and utterly owning it, sometimes it's hard to remember or admit to that kid in the corner who's clearly uncomfortable and probably not having a very good time.   And even if you go over and talk to them, it's usually a one-sided conversation.
You have to remember introverts despise small talk.  I'm sure you're telling a very interesting story about when you fell off your skateboard but they're probably sitting there going, "Oh gosh now I have to make a witty comment back what should I say what can I say someone help me please."  (at least, that goes for me).  They'll probably just laugh awkwardly, force a smile, and say, "Cool."
So, instead of forcing you're (most likely wonderful, but slightly intimidating) self onto an introvert, try taking it slow.  If you're with friends that all know each other, and someone's an outsider, try to make space in the social "circle," and keep the conversation away from talking about past memories or laughing over inside jokes.  If you're talking about a certain subject, try asking the introvert, "So, what do you think?" and make sure you respond to their response.  Let them know you want to get to know them better, and aren't just being polite (something I find as an introvert is when people are just being polite, I feel there is no need to "get close" with them so I just give up and speak as little as possible).
And remember, introverts like little tastes of society and then alone time.  If they want to leave, don't stop them.  And above all else, just take it slow.  Introverts hate to be overwhelmed.

Introverts,
how easy it is to hide yourself from the world.  But, please, don't do that.  Don't hide behind your shyness.  It's very hard for an extrovert to include you in a conversation when you don't at least try to participate.  Give them something to work with.  I know it's hard, but try actively taking a small social risk.  Jump into a conversation.  The worst that will happen is an embarrassing moment, and in the long run saying something stupid never killed anyone.  Everyone, deep down, is just as uncomfortable as you, some people just ignore that feeling better then others.  There's nothing wrong with being shy, just don't let that shyness rule you.  Open your mouth and give your opinion, introduce yourself to a random stranger once and awhile.  Really, there isn't any damage you can do that is long lasting or irrevocable.
Also, whenever I see that one popular kid who just looks so happy with all his tight circle of friends I feel so hopeless.  How can I ever say hello to a group of people so tightly knit?  They clearly don't want another friend, much less me.
Just know, that is not true.
Just because someone who goes around with a close-knit group of friends, they're always on the lookout for a new one.  Just because they know some people really well, it doesn't mean I don't want to know you really well.  Everyone enjoys meeting someone new.
Don't hide, try, just once, letting your hair down.  Sure, you might embarrass yourself, but you might get a reward much greater then you could've imagined. 

^(OvO)^                  
                     

Greetings and Whatnot

A Very Brief Introduction To My Very Muddled Brain
So.  Hi.  I've decided to start a blog so I can release to the world all the various observations, thoughts, quips, sputterings, mutterings, etc inside my muddled little head.  This is either a very brilliant idea or a very dangerous one, and only time will tell.  So, if you are reading this, and continue reading this, I can only thank you from the bottom of my heart, and my heart is very deep.

Behind the Name
You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow
We had our mindset
All things known, all things known
You had to find it
All things go, all things go    
These lines come from the song Chicago by Sufjan Stevens.  This is obviously what inspire the title to this little blog of mine.  Though Sufjan's songs are always interpreted differently from individual to individual, for me these lyrics reflect ultimately what I beleive about life.  Everything we're doing, everything we come into contact with, all things we touch, taste, smell, feel, and hear all collide inside of us, filtered by our mindset, our beliefs, to help us recreate and reinvent who we are.  All our mistakes, all our hopes and dreams, all our ideas, all that the Lord has put in our path, help us find who we are and help us through our lives.

So, I guess that's kind of what I want to accomplish with this blog.  I want it to help me recreate myself, so that in turn, hopefully, will help you recreate yourself.
So, for better or for worse, here's a blog, here's my thoughts, I hope you enjoy them.

^(OvO)^